


Jump?

by sherlock_exe



Category: Detroit: Become Human
Genre: Anxiety, Choose Your Own Adventure, Choose Your Own Ending, Choose Your Own Path, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) - Freeform, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has Anxiety, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Whump, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) is Bad at Feelings, Connor - Freeform, DBH, DBH sad, DBH suicide, Detroit Police Department (Detroit: Become Human), Detroit: Become Human Connor, Detroit: Become Human Hank Anderson, Detroit: Become human hank, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Dpd, Good Dog Sumo (Detroit: Become Human), Hank (Detroit: Become Human) - Freeform, Hank Anderson (Detroit: Become Human) - Freeform, Hurt Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mentioned Sumo (Detroit: Become Human), Self Harm, Self-Harm, Sexual Assault, Suicide, Suicide (Detroit: Become Human), Suicide Attempt, Whump, choose your own (Detroit: Become Human), choose your own story, connor dbh - Freeform, dbh connor - Freeform, reader - Freeform, self harm (Detroit: Become Human), sumo (Detroit: Become Human) - Freeform, whump (Detroit: Become Human), y/n, y/n (Detroit: Become Human), y/n (Detroit: Become Human) Suicide, y/n (Detroit: Become Human) self harm, your choice (Detroit: Become Human)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24688705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlock_exe/pseuds/sherlock_exe
Summary: Y/N is the DPDs newest recruit with a dark past. Will Hank and Connor be able to save her? That’s up to you to decide.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1- the DPD

“Today seems like a good day to die” she thought to herself, as her alarm blared and her head span. To be truthful, she’d thought this everyday for the last two years, ever since she lost her place at home. Even after she got a job as a recruit at the DPD, the thoughts never went away. They were strongest when the wind blew on the cold, lonely nights. While she had her car for some security, she couldn’t afford to turn the heating on at night. It reminded her of her first nights on the street, when her car was in for repairs and when she had nowhere to go. 

“Today seems like a good day to die” she thought to herself as she ran a red light, without even realising it - her brain had been foggy lately. She couldn’t stop thinking about what happened to her. She wanted so fucking hard to forget but his face plagued her mind every minute of everyday. What she would give to forget what had happened. 

“Today seems like a good day to die” she thought to herself in the Monday morning meeting, as Connor shot glares at her from across the room.

He had noticed from the first scan he ever did of y/n that something was wrong. Her heart rate was elevated, sweating profuse and hormones increased- but he never found anything physically wrong. And in the 2 years he had known y/n, it never changed. He assumed it was just anxiety, most humans dealt with that today and it was a minor aliment in his eyes. That was until he had read her medical records mere months ago. He knows he shouldn’t have done, it was a violation of her privacy but he was worried about her. He’d never been worried about someone like that before. Her records had shown two previous attempts at self-destruction and years of self-inflicted damage to her exterior. Connor couldn’t understand why, or how he had never noticed. He knew about mental illness of course, but he didn’t understand why she would do that to herself, or how she managed to keep it a secret from him, a state of the art Android, for two whole years. He had absolutely no idea how troubled she was. He was going to ask y/n about it as soon as he found out but something has stopped him for months. Anytime he’s about to approach the subject, his artificial breathing fluctuates and fans increase in speed, almost as though his body thinks he’s about to over heat from physical exertion. At first he thought it was a simple malfunction but, it only occurs when the subject of y/n’s self destruction needs to be approached. This means there’s a problem in his code and, if that’s the case, he will be destroyed. There is no fixing Android code and he can’t be destroyed. He won’t. Connor realised his LED must have been red by the way hank looked at him. Wide eyed yet creased with concern... he’d have to tell hank eventually about his discovery. 

Y/n had ignored the whole meeting, thinking about where and how she would end her life this time. It was only when everyone started to filter out of the room did she realise that the meeting must have ended. She missed whatever Fowler wanted her to do today but it didn’t matter anyway. She’d be dead by the end of the day, so she returned to her desk to do paper work. Connor was still giving her side eyes from his desk across the room, not as discreetly as he probably thought he was doing it. She needed to get out, fast, before he had the chance to speak to her. God must be making his rounds today because just as Connor started to walk over in y/n’s direction, hank stopped him. 

“I want to know exactly why your LED was red, no lies Connor” hank had stated, putting firm emphasis on ‘exactly’. He didn’t know much about Androids but what he did know was that a red LED was always bad news- Connor wasn’t getting out of this one. 

He led hank to a storage cupboard, just behind the holding cells. It wasn’t exactly the most glamourous place, but it was quiet. Connors fans slowly increased in speed but he ignored it, right now y/n was more important.

As Connor led hank away, into a fucking cupboard of all places, y/n knew she had to get out. Someone must’ve known something; the way everyone was looking at her. It was becoming too much and she needed to get out, fast. When no one was watching, she quick walked out of the office to her car. It must’ve looked like she shat herself the way she was walking but she had to get out. She made it to her car and slumped into her seat, the cool air stuck to her skin sent shivers down her spine. She knew what she had to do. 

“Connor?! What the hell are you playing at?!” Hank whisper-shouted as Connor shut him into the cupboard. He must’ve realised this was important, and that no one else could hear their conversations. 

“Hank, I’m worried about y/n” he began, ”you probably know she has anxiety, or if you didn’t know, you had some gut feeling as you call it, correct?”. Hank merely nodded in expectation, he wanted Connor to carry on. Connor titled his head in realisation “right, well, there’s something bigger going on”. He stopped to take a breath and carried on, “I looked at her medical files”. Hank sighed, rolled his eyes and opened his mouth in disbelief to speak what Connor knew was going to come out as a scolding, so he stopped him before he got a word in and carried on, “I know it was wrong but I had a bad feeling. I know androids can’t get that so I don’t know what’s wrong with me but she’s been getting worse hank. You’ve noticed it too, right? She’s more spaced out, less coherent, fuck hank, a traffic officer pulled me to the side today to tell me he watched her run a red light at 60 in a 30 zone” he almost shouted, “I had to get him to drop it.. I’m so worried hank..” Connor trailed off.

There was a moment of silence before hank started “So.. what was in her medical file?”

Connor had secretly hoped hank had forgotten about it, but even in his old age hanks memory wasn’t that bad. He took a deep breath and his fans speed again increased, “Hank I-I saw that she.. hank she tried-“ he stuttered. He couldn’t get it out. He was too hot in this stupid cupboard and his cooling systems were already working overdrive. Hank looked on, annoyed, but he could see Connor was flustered. His LED shone a bright, fiery red in the dimly lit space. That’s never happened before, other than the time he interfaced with that Android that killed himself, so he let Connor be.  
Connor managed to get his fans to slow again, and his LED returned to yellow, albeit flashing. 

“Hank”, he began again, this time ensuring he was slow, as to not speed up his fans again, “she tried to kill herself. Twice. And she’s been hurting herself for years. I mean, fuck hank, how did she even get this job with a history like that? Hell, how did we not notice she was doing this to herself?!”  
Connors LED was a bright red again, and worry was lined in his face. Hank stood still, silenced by what he had heard. Connor was right, how the hell had they not noticed? When hank snapped back into reality, Connor was looking at him with expectancy. Y/n was getting bad again, and with her history, they needed to do something fast.

“Connor, we need to find y/n and have a serious conversation about this.. she was at her desk.. let’s go, now”

They both speedily left the cupboard, hot and flustered. Hell, what must it have looked like to others. They sped past Fowler’s office towards y/n desk but she was nowhere to be seen. 

“REED”, hank bellowed, catching the attention of half the office, “where the fuck did y/n go??!”. Hank was now in reeds face, so red he looked like he was about to burst.

“Woah there detective”, reed stated, calmly - a quick scan revealed anything but, “you don’t want to go threatening your coworkers now, do you? Not with your disciplinary report already as long as the fucking bible” 

This hit a nerve and hank grabbed him by the collar of his coat, pinning him against the wall, “listen hear you little shit! Your partner is about to fucking” Hank lowered his voice “kill herself. You’re in no place to FUCK AROUND. So tell me, which way did she go before I break your fucking neck.” This really had gavin scared, and Connor whose LED was stuck between yellow and red as he tried to process the fact that y/n was missing and vulnerable. His fans made a deafening sound. Unable to speak (undoubtedly because of hanks forearm up against his neck) he simply pointed towards the exit. Dropping gavin to the floor, breathless, hank sprinted away, closely followed by Connor.

Y/n pulled the knife out of her glove box. Originally, it was bought solely for self-protection, but since sleeping in the DPD carpark, she hadn’t needed to use it. Well, not on anyone else. Slowly, she raised the knife to her arm. This was common but today she planned on going deeper; deeper so that she would die. This time, the doctors wouldn’t be able to save her. She had her DPD issued gun but that would be too messy, and, this would calm her. As the knife slid into her arm, she knew she was right; she instantly felt calmer. Her cheeks dulled in colour and her heart slowed and she watched the blood pour out, not bead up like usual. She did have some dignity left though, so she opened the door to bleed on the pavement floor so she could keep her car clean to sell on for a decent price after she had gone. Yes, someone would find this blood later and ID it has hers, but by then she would be gone. As she bleed onto the floor, she pulled out the photo she had looked at every time she’d done this to herself. It made it easier. The guilt made it easier. She deserved to die for what she had done.

She started to feel faint and she knew she couldn’t die here; wouldn’t die here. Someone would eventually notice she had gone and they would come looking for her and they would save her. She couldn’t have that. She covered her wounds for now and slammed the door, then sped away, tyres screeching, the only direction she knew.

Hank and Connor burst through the door and were met with a grim sight. Hanks face drained in colour and Connors LED immediately fell to a solid red. Blood. Everywhere. And lots of it. Hastily, but cautiously, they both made their way over. In the back of hanks mind, he knew it was y/n’s. He prayed and prayed it wasn’t but as Connor put his blooded fingers into his mouth and his eyes fell dark, hank knew it was hers. He couldn’t stop her. He couldn’t save her. Another kid he had lost because he was too fucking useless.

Connors breathing quickened and it pulled hank out of his trance, he looked over to see the Android blue in the face. Blue? Was he.. flushed? Hank put his hank to Connors head like he was a child with a fever and he was burning. Not burning as in hot to the touch but as in agonising to touch- like white metal. He was overheating. 

“Hey buddy, Connor? Listen to me” Connor stayed stagnant. With more force this time, yet kindly hank said “Connor.. you can do it buddy, you have to listen to me, please? Can you do that?”, Connors eyes slowly met hanks. “it’s not over yet” lies “we can still save her” lies “... son, her car must be in the data base, check and we can track her using the ANPR shit.” Hank watched as Connor nodded and his LED flickered yellow. His face had also dimmed to a more purplish tone.. that would have to do for now. 

“She doesn’t have a vehicle registered under her name” Connor stated, lacking emotion. 

“She must have Connor, what, you telling me she stole it? That it’s not hers? Check again”

“Hank” Connor said, an annoyed tone to it “I’m a state of the art Android I don’t need to check again, I don’t make mistakes”

“Well, I thought you didn’t have emotions either kid? Check again, and check for a home address”

And that he did, but there was nothing. Connor searched and searched using misspelled names, capital letters in odd places, all he could think of but there was nothing. They had lost her. Hank could tell by Connors face they had run out of options. There was no way to track y/n’s car, or find her home, and she was about to die.

“Listen buddy” said hank, reassuringly, with a tremor to his voice, “there must be something around here that could tell us where she went.. I don’t know, tyre tracks we can trace, a CCTV camera we can look at... maybe she just went home! C’mon kid, scan”

So, Connor scanned the area around them, looking for anything that has been left or disturbed. After looking at tyre tracks that ended as soon as the carpark did, dirt left that was untraceable, and a footprint leading to nowhere, Connor had just about given up. That’s when he saw something in her blood. In the fucking puddle of y/n’s blood that he was going to have to root around in. He pulled out something flat, almost postcard like and called hank over. He wiped the blood off on his own jacket and saw that it was in fact a photo. A photo of young y/n and a friend, on an abandoned rooftop overlooking the city where one of the walls had caved in. 

“Do you recognise her?” Connor asked. When hank stated that he didn’t, he began his scans. The picture was old, covered in blood traces and wrinkled so it took a second longer than Connor would’ve hoped but, nevertheless, there was information that it held. 

IMAGE PERSONS:

MARY JOHNSON  
DECEASED  
Born: 20/01/2017 - Died: 07/08/2035 - at Detroit Docks  
Lived: 171 Ainslewood Drive - Detroit, Michigan  
Criminal record: trespassing

Y/N Y/L/N  
Born: 12/08/2017  
Lived: 134 Ainslewood Drive - Detroit, Michigan  
CURRENT RESIDENCE UNKNOWN  
Criminal record: none

IMAGE LOCATION:  
FOREGROUND: UNLISTED BUILDING  
BACKGROUND: DETROIT DOCKS

“Hank, we need to go to Detroit docks, now” when hank didn’t move, Connors voice picked up in volume, “Hank! IM SERIOUS we need to go NOW, I’ll explain the car why, can we please just get a move on?”

As y/n arrived at the abandoned building, a sense of familiarity washed over her. She clambered out the car and headed up the stairs; she knew where she was going. Her and mary came here so often when they were teens. Once, mary got caught as they ran from the cops and got done for trespassing! That didn’t stop them though. As she made it to the top of the stairs and stood in the centre of the room, she was plagued by flashbacks of happy times, and the sadder ones. Though it was a little more run down that before - graffiti, crumbling rubble, and a plank facing out the building (perfect) - it was just how she remembered it. The chairs they used to sit in were gone now but she didn’t need to sit and think. Mary had jumped off here, so it was only right she did the same.

They both clambered into hanks car and sped towards the docks. Connor explained that she had no registered home address, and yes, she could be at her home, but they didn’t have that now and their best bet was the docks. She was looking at the photo of her friend, who killed herself at the docks where the photo of them was taken, while she was bleeding out from self-inflicted wounds - it was logical to assume that she would be there. Hank didn’t have time to disagree. As they arrived closer to the docks, it was easy to see the sole building at its edge missing a wall, with a lone figure casting a silhouette on the inside. 

Removing the gun from her holster (it wasn’t likely she was going to have a clean death now either way), she walked to the edge of the plank, sat, and looked down at the decrepit city below. It was time.


	2. Chapter 2- the building

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n had made her way to the abandoned building.. would Connor and hank be too late to save her?

She’d thought about this day for months. Originally, she was just going to put her car in neutral and roll into the river, but that seemed pretty painful, and cold. So, this was her best bet at dying, and staying dead. She could be with mary too. She would miss Connor and hank though, even gavin the tiniest bit. They had made the last couple of months bearable, even on her darkest days. They had no clue how much they had actually helped her, but it would never be enough. That wasn’t their fault; she was a lost cause. She started to edge herself closer to the edge.. looking down, however, she saw a car. This one wasn’t covered in shit, or broken like all the others at the dock- it was clean and well-kept. The more she looked, the more a sinking feeling rose in her chest. It couldn’t be could it?

Hank and Connor raced up the stairs, tripping and falling on rubble but never slowing. Hank was breathing so hard Connor thought he might collapse, but he never stopped to rest so Connor kept on climbing. He made it to the top a second or two before hank and there he saw her: at the end of a plank, gun in hand, looking at the floor below, 10 stories up. If she fell, death would be instantaneous. Hank rounded the corner, bent over and breathless but the sight of y/n was enough to snap him out of it. She hadn’t seen them yet, they still had a chance.

They probably thought she hadn’t seen them yet, but of course she had - the old building echos everything to a deafening volume. She heard footsteps, unmistakably theirs, and hanks shaky breath. Now, they would have to watch her die.

“Listen, hank” Connor began, worry etched into his whispering voice, “im an android programmed with negotiation strategy’s, but I lack emotions.. hank I don’t have empathy. I don’t know who would be best at this.” Connor glanced over in y/n’s direction, and fuck, she was looking at them. Hank followed Connors gaze and began “hey, y/n, why don’t we just go somewhere quiet and we can sort all of this out, yeah?” As hank spoke, both of them edged closer to y/n. They couldn’t grab her because of the plank, so Connor knew this approach was useless, but perhaps if she did jump he could grab her and pull her up. Yes, he might fall, but it was their best bet. 

“Get away...” y/n whispered. Was she having doubts? Hank and Connor edged closer still, clearly they needed something more forceful. “I said get away.. GET AWAY!” This was enough to stop them in their tracks. 

“Okay.. okay y/n, we’re not coming any closer? See? We’re gonna stay right here okay?” Hank tried to be reassuring, but the breaks in his voice clearly showed he was anything but. 

As they edged back, Connor scanned y/n. Her heart rate was lower than he’d ever seen it before, but her hands were shaking? She wasn’t scared? She wasn’t scared of dying... that means they need to get to her now. Hank looked over in Connors direction, he looked lost. He didn’t know what to say; y/n was unreachable. But not to Connor. 

“Hey y/n, it’s me Connor, I know your afraid-“

“What would you know about emotions?! Your just a machine Connor” y/n interrupted. While she was distracted, Connor began to edge closer again. 

“I might be a machine but I know you’re not okay, y/n. Please, let us help you. You can get better”. With this, y/n turned to face Connor and he came to an abrupt stop. 

“I can’t Connor, don’t you understand? I’ve tried for so long to get better but it never fucking does. I want it to stop AND ITS NOT STOPPING. Please, just go.. I don’t want you to see this”. She turned the gun over in her palm.

They really were running out of time, Connor began, with urgency “hey, y/n, look at me. Look at me? Talk to me about Mary.. what was she like?”

“Don’t make me talk about her.. please don’t. You’ll make it worse”

“Please y/n”- 

“STOP IT” she turned to face Connor once more, with tears in her eyes. Now, she was scared. While it didn’t look like it to hank, Connor had made a break through. 

“When I was young.. I had a friend called mary. I suppose you already know but, she killed herself. She threw herself of this fucking roof and left me to deal with it”, she took a breath, “it was so fucking hard Connor but.. I got through it.. I was getting help. I was getting better. It took me 10 years but I was doing okay, you know? And then my parents threw me out the fucking house”, a small chuckle escaped her lips, “can you fucking believe it? I mean, I know I’m old but seriously?? They got rid of me because I was gay. I’ve been living in my car for two years and I just couldn’t do it anymore. Things happen on the street Connor, things I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I’m too afraid to go back.”

He made eye contact with her now, inches away from the beginning of the plank “y/n, you don’t ever have to stay in that shitty car again, do you understand me? Hey, you can stay at hanks, with me and sumo. We can be like a family. Please, just come down from the board?” Connor extended an arm for y/n to take. She looked down at his fingers; they were trembling?

“I just need a minute, please, Connor”. With that he withdrew his hand, nodded and walked back a few paces to where hank had now stood. 

“I think I got through to her” Connor whispered. Glancing over to her, she remained in the same spot facing into the city. He would give her 2 minutes before he would run out onto that plank and drag her back. Hank could practically see the cogs turning in Connors mind; he knew what he was planning on doing and he couldn’t stop him. It could kill him but that didn’t matter to Connor, as long as y/n was okay. 

What Connor had said was logical- she could stay with hank in his house. He would make sure she was safe. But that was too good to be true, and, even if Connor WAS telling the truth, she would be such a burden to hank. He was already dealing with his own shit.. could she really impose like that? 

She could feel hank and Connors eyes burning into the back of her head. She must’ve sat there for at least a minute and a half and she knew she was running out of time. She has to decide- if she doesn’t, Connor will drag her back across even if it means he’ll die. She can’t have that. 

TIME TO DECIDE 

jump - chapter 3  
don’t jump - chapter 4


End file.
